When you don’t have children, some people assume that means you have endless free time or that you never get tired. But everyone deserves a break, no matter their lifestyle.
So when this Redditor joined her family for a beach vacation, she planned to actually enjoy it. But things took a turn when her cousins, all married with kids, casually suggested that she babysit all of their children since she doesn’t have any of her own. She said no—and when they kept pushing, she made it clear that if they left the kids with her, she’d call the police.
That confidence didn’t sit well with everyone, and soon, the family chat was in chaos. Scroll down to see how it all unfolded.
The woman’s relatives expected her to babysit all four of their children during a family vacation simply because she was the only childfree adult
Image credits: prostooleh (not the actual image)
She refused, and when they kept pushing, she made it clear she’d call the police if they tried to leave the kids with her
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: rawpixel.com (not the actual image)
Image credits: maddiewithluv
How to set boundaries with family when you’ve never been good at it
Wow, what a way to set boundaries with family members, right? Some people might say her response was a bit too much, but honestly, many of us have the opposite problem. We swallow our discomfort and go along with things we don’t want to do just to try to keep the peace.
Especially with family, saying no can feel almost impossible. We’re taught to stick together, help each other, and be “understanding,” even when the expectations are completely unreasonable.
But in the modern world, maintaining healthy relationships often means recognizing that peace shouldn’t come at the cost of your sanity. And that’s exactly where boundaries come in. They remind others that your needs matter just as much as theirs. The woman in this story shows how effective a firm boundary can be (though not all of her relatives appreciated it).
But if you’re like many people and struggle with setting boundaries, unlike the author of the story, there are expert-backed ways to get better at it.
According to psychologist Rachel Zoffness, Ph.D., it all starts with valuing yourself and your time. You deserve to be respected, and if someone consistently ignores your limits, it’s worth asking whether you want to give them so much access to you. Your time is precious, and if you don’t protect it, others won’t either.
Another key step is giving yourself permission to do what’s best for you. Cultural pressure says we “owe” our family endless patience, holidays, and emotional labor. But if your relatives drain you or treat you poorly, limiting your time with them isn’t betrayal. You’re your own biggest advocate, and sometimes caring for yourself means stepping back.
Zoffness also recommends knowing your triggers before you head into stressful situations. Maybe certain comments always get under your skin, or specific people always push your buttons. Recognizing what sets you off makes it easier to plan how you’ll respond and how you’ll take care of yourself when it happens.
Then comes the part most people find hardest: being clear about your needs. That might mean limiting how long you stay, asking someone not to bring up certain topics, or saying you won’t take on childcare duties. Once you know your limits, communicate them simply and kindly. No long explanations required.
And finally, practice saying no. Soft no’s, hard no’s—all of them count. The more familiar you get with the words, the easier they become. Pair that with a few coping strategies, like taking breaks, going for walks, or venting to a trusted friend, and it becomes much easier to stay firm.
Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first, but as this story shows, standing up for yourself is worth it.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)