You should be able to trust your partner more than anyone else on the planet. No matter how tough things get, they should always have your back, and you should never have to question how much they love you. Because if they do happen to betray you, it may be impossible for your relationship to recover from that.
One woman reached out to Reddit for advice after her marriage blew up almost overnight. Below, you’ll find all of the details she shared about why she suddenly wants a divorce, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.
This woman loved throwing tea parties with her grandmother’s tea set
Image credits: Maria Lupan (not the actual photo)
But when it suddenly vanished, she realized that her husband had betrayed her
Image credits: milanzeremski (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OkPrestigiousGuest
The author later replied to several readers and provided more details about her situation
Readers assured the woman that she wasn’t being overdramatic, and many encouraged her to end her marriage
Image credits: Austin Guevara (not the actual photo)
Later, the author shared an update on her living situation
Image credits: OkPrestigiousGuest
She also responded to several comments and provided a few more details
Honesty is an extremely important aspect of any relationship
Your spouse is probably the last person that you would ever expect to steal from you. You probably follow the “what’s mine is yours” rule when it comes to most things. And as for possessions that only one of you owns, your partner should respect you enough to leave those things be.
Now, a tea set probably isn’t the most common item for someone to steal from their partner, but because of its sentimental value, this should be taken just as seriously as if money had been stolen. And according to Adam Kol, The Couples Financial Coach, this type of theft might even be a form of infidelity.
When it happens, it’s important to remain calm and gather the facts. Address the issue with your partner, and ask them for honesty and accountability. Meanwhile, take steps to ensure that this doesn’t happen again in the future. If that means changing passwords, PIN codes, getting a new safe, etc., that might be necessary. And don’t hesitate to set new boundaries for your relationship.
You might even seek out professional counseling for your marriage. Or if it’s too late, it might be time to contact a divorce attorney. Some people might also be interested in suing their spouse for theft, which is certainly possible, but it won’t always be easy. HG.org notes that a successful case will depend on a variety of factors.
But another important aspect of this particular story is the fact that this woman’s husband lied right to her face. Is it possible to ever trust someone again after they’ve done that? Brandon Coussens, LMFT, says that there are steps that both partners will need to take if they’re committed to repairing the relationship.
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Rebuilding trust after it’s been broken is never easy
As for the person who broke their spouse’s trust, it’s crucial that they really understand where their dishonest behavior is coming from and sincerely apologize for it. They must know what their partner is looking for from them and commit to making things right.
Meanwhile, the spouse who was hurt must make the effort to understand their partner’s reasons for lying. They should set firm yet loving boundaries, and they must commit to moving forward. They have to be able to forgive their spouse, as dwelling on the past or harboring resentment will stop them from ever healing their relationship.
Unfortunately, many couples won’t be able to recover from lies like this. Darlene Lancer, LMFT, warns in a piece for Psychology Today that holding onto secrets and lies prevents partners from having true intimacy. Lying also often has a snowball effect, which leads to cover-up lies and omissions that can start to spiral out of control.
Whether they’re conscious of it or not, the person lying will start to feel guilty, which might manifest in them becoming avoidant or detached from their relationship. Meanwhile, their partner might begin to feel insecure and confused about why something feels off. And, of course, this inner turmoil can take a toll on a person’s mental health and in turn, start to erode their relationship.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman made the right choice by ending her marriage over this tea set drama? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar marital issues right here.
Image credits: Odonata Wellnesscenter (not the actual photo)