“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou uttered those words over two decades ago, but they will always ring true. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors, especially if you consider them to be a friend.

Redditors have recently been recalling times when they realized that a “friend” wasn’t actually who they thought they were, so we’ve gathered some of their most heartbreaking tales below. We sincerely hope that you can’t relate to any of these experiences, pandas. But if you can, remember that you deserve to have amazing friendships and that you can always cut out relationships that aren’t serving you. Keep reading to find a conversation with the user who started this thread, and be sure to upvote the stories that resonate with you.
Read More: “I’ve Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds

#1

When he threw a unopened can of coke at a homeless person. Stopped being his friend right then and there and I took the homeless women to get food and gave her money to go get replacement clothes from goodwill. I’ve never been so ashamed of someone before or after that.

Image credits: davethapeanut

#2

He explained to me, after the George Floyd protests, that the outcome of the Civil War was wrong, and that Covid was the fault of black people. Never heard any kind of trash like that from him over twenty years. I stood up, told him I would never darken his threshold again and that we were through as friends. I’ve kept my word.

Image credits: Pusfilledonut

#3

I’d always bought my best friend lunch in high school, Like everyday. Every when he had detention, I’d come by and drop him off food. This one week, I lost my wallet, so no money. Surprisingly he he had money that week I didn’t have money. I asked him if he could get me lunch and straight up said no. I thought he was joking and then he just bought food and ate by himself. Made me really think people can be so greedy to their best friend. I stopped hanging out with him after that, and I didn’t buy him food anymore.

(He didn’t steal my wallet it was at my grandma’s house.).

Image credits: DivineArcade1

#4

My friend owns a very popular food truck in the south. She’s netting a half a million a year in revenue. She needed help for a big event, so I went down and worked for her this past July. I worked with one of her regular employees and I asked how the tips were usually split up. The girl told me that my friend keeps every single tip, and that she’s never seen one. This girl is 20 years old and in college and my friend is still taking the few hundred bucks from her. That money is a drop in the bucket for my friend, but life changing for that girl. At that point I realized true greed. Haven’t talked to her since.

Image credits: missmorganadams

#5

Left his wife and kids because he was in love with my wife, who wasn’t interested in him at all. Then literally never saw his kids again and gave up all parental rights. Her next husband, also a friend of mine, adopted them and has been a great dad.

Image credits: Pure_Mammoth_1233

#6

I started dating a really nice girl who worked in a jewelry store. After three or four dates, she told me that my roommate and supposed friend had stopped by the store to tell her my dad was an alcoholic. Which was true, but we both thought it was crude and strange that he did that.
I dumped him and married her. Still married 40 years later.

Image credits: p38-lightning

#7

That time he told me my trans cousin should be shot and it didn’t even occur to him that that’s my cousin. He said it like I was just meant to agree with him like “oh hey, this is what us regular people think when there’s no weirdos around, right?”

Haven’t spoken to him since.

Edit: the icing on the cake is how he just moved on to a different topic as though he didn’t just tell me he thought a member of my family should be executed cuz pronouns or something.

Image credits: TheOtherJohnson

#8

I had a miscarriage, and in response to that news my best friend attached pictures of her own three-month-old baby, ostensibly to cheer me up, at the end of her condolence email (we had grown up together but settled in different cities). I was so stunned by this that I wasn’t sure how to address it; I thought she had perhaps attached the pictures by mistake? She was after all my best friend of many years, so surely she wouldn’t have been so insensitive– so I didn’t reply. For the sake of loving her, and I wanted to continue to love her, I decided it wasn’t deliberate, but it was quite hurtful and it stayed on my mind.

At our next in-person visit, a few months later, she brought up that she had had the idea to send me the baby pictures but thought it “might hurt my feelings,” but also that her baby “was just so cute!” so she asked her husband, a psychologist, if it would be cruel. He reassured her it would be fine, so she attached them. I was even more shocked by this revelation– I could forgive thoughtlessness, but to have her say to my face that she’d thought it could hurt me, but went looking for permission to do it anyway because her baby was cute? Nah. It ended our friendship.

Image credits: Osfees

#9

When my friend came out MAGA.

Image credits: copingstoic

#10

When he straight lifted up his girlfriends shirt and bra while we were all chilling at another friend’s house exposing her to all like 5 of us hanging out.

Image credits: MountainDrew757

#11

We lived in the same dorm and worked at the same place. I gave him a ride to work daily because he didn’t have a car for a few months. The thought never occurred to me to ask for money because it I was going there anyway…why would I? He got a car and my car broke down. I asked for a ride. He asks me for gas money.

Image credits: twelveparsnips

#12

When I got a big promotion at work and she said “what, did no one else want it or something?” Knew right then she didn’t think I was deserving or qualified. Really took the wind out of my sails. She was one of the first people I told because I was excited about it.

Image credits: BRCRN

#13

We went out clubbing and I happened to come across and old friend. She later was making jokes about him being “ugly” and “looking like an alien.” He was a burn victim and she knew that. She would also park in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities. She then leaked my phone number online having people harass me and thought she was doing something by dating my abusive ex bf. They lasted two weeks.

Image credits: angel_bunny444

#14

My best friend since 4th grade. We were inseparable, even when we grew up and had families of our own.
Then, one day, his wife told me a story about his time in art school.
He didn’t go to art school. I did. It was my story.
He co-opted my life to his wife.
And while it was insignificant as an overall lie, it was still a lie that he never corrected or confessed to her.
I never looked at him the same. It changed who he was to me forever.

Image credits: Darkm0or

#15

They constantly downplay whatever it is you’re sharing – life problems, emotions, general concerns etc. It was a sad realization.

Image credits: Helpfoolness

#16

Not really a friend. Rather his mother.

When I was kid I used to hang out all the time with another kid whose mother was sort of the stereotypical Italian mother. Way too involved, a bit of a smotherer. But she seemed nice.

Once I stopped around his house (this was the 80s, so no cell phones) and he & his family wasn’t home, but some other kids across the street called me over & I started hanging out with them. Fast forward an hour or so and the friend who wasn’t home comes home with his parents. The mom comes over and invites me in their house to play Atari or something like that.

The other kids weren’t invited, and it seemed rude to ditch the other kids, so guilt kicked in and I declined. Just seemed like the right thing to do, but friend’s mom apparently took this as a slight. To teach me a lesson, she then ordered a pizza and when it arrived invited all the kids in their house – except me. Obviously the other kids went for the pizza and I got ditched, for trying to do the right thing.

I was so hurt by it I refused to hang out with her son again and that was pretty much the end of our friendship.

Image credits: Pixelated_Penguin808

#17

When I spent £100 on their birthday and they wouldn’t buy me a 69p drink.

Image credits: bingusmadfut

#18

She talked poorly about every single person she knew/met.

Image credits: spicymeatball707

#19

He was caught stealing from another friend and instead of even pretending to apologize, he came up with a convoluted excuse to justify it.

Image credits: Hrekires

#20

They purposely embarrass you in front of others, then expect you to get over it. They bully other people. (This was HS).

Image credits: Individual_Phone_152

#21

Myself and a friend walked down an alley in the night and saw a drunkard pass out on steps, he looked in poor condition so I said nothing and friend said ” we could rob this man and we would never be found out”. So I say “don’t be stupid, look at man’s coat, he is veteran. Would not have much anyway”. But he insisted and say “we can sell the medals”. I felt disgusted, told that I do not want to see his face around our block again and that he no longer part of my friends. To be fair, we were hungry and desperate but I will not rob veteran of he’s medals.

Image credits: Kapitan_Borris

#22

Less than 24 hours after having a brain tumor removed, he called and wanted me to bring him some weed.

Image credits: esp735

#23

When everything was a competition.

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Image credits: chocolatechipninja