Nobody is a mind reader—not you, not your partner, not anybody else. If you have an issue, you should talk to the person about it. And yet, some people forget this and get mad at their significant others for not immediately knowing what they’re thinking and feeling. Some go as far as posting bizarre things on social media to see how they react.
Internet user u/BigTalkSmallAction vented to the TrueOffMyChest community about how he broke things off with his girlfriend. All because she conducted a “manipulative and immature” relationship test, involving a weird Instagram story. Scroll down for the full viral story and to see how the internet reacted. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from him.
‘Testing’ your partner in weird and immature ways is a great way to undermine your entire relationship
Image credits: varyapigu (not the actual photo)
A guy shared how he broke things off with his girlfriend after she subjected him to a bizarre ‘test’ using an Instagram story. He finally had enough
Image credits: rostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BigTalkSmallAction
Being paranoid that your partner might always be testing you is no way to live
To put it bluntly, you shouldn’t be ‘testing’ your partner to see how much they love you. They shouldn’t have to live in a state of constant paranoia that everything they do might be a secret exam. Their level of affection and respect for you is often clear from small daily interactions.
On top of that, if you see any problems in your relationship, the mature thing to do is to have an open and honest chat about them, instead of ignoring the issue.
Trying to find out the truth by using weird ‘tests’ you found on social media is immature and inaccurate. Plus, they can backfire, like in the viral story author’s situation. Nobody enjoys having to guess what their partner is thinking and jumping through invisible hoops just to make them happy.
Proper adults have those awkward but essential talks about their relationship, values, problems, priorities, etc. The key is to actively listen to your partner instead of just waiting for your turn to speak. Also, you should avoid judging your significant other. And it’s a good rule of thumb to look for actual compromises instead of just trying to be ‘right.’
‘Testing’ your partner can be a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. On top of that, you can do real damage to the connection you already have.
Image credits:Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Relationship tests can create a lot of unnecessary tension
In a piece on Psychology Today, Tina Gilbertson, LPC, notes that setting up tests of affection can create the distance in the relationship that one of the partners fears.
“If you find yourself testing your partner like this, recognize the behavior for what it is. You’re trying to find more security in your relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that. But setting up tests creates unnecessary conflict. Even if your partner goes along with everything you want him or her to do, slavish obedience is not ultimately what you’re seeking,” she explains.
In a nutshell, folks who test their significant others want to know that they matter. However, if your insecurities constantly get the best of you, you may want to reach out to a therapist to work through your feelings.
If you tend to ‘test’ your romantic partners, then you should simply talk to your partner. “Perhaps your partner can help you get a handle on testing by gently checking in with you if they feel they’re being put in a compromising position. Testers are not bad people. They are simply people who need understanding and support. Asking your partner to help you notice testing behavior sets your relationship on a collaborative footing, rather than a combative one,” Gilbertson writes.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Social media is full of trendy relationship advice, but it can do a lot more harm than good
Recently, a TikTok trend about the so-called Orange Peel Theory has really popped off. The basic idea is that, supposedly, if you ask your partner to bring you an orange, and they bring it to you peeled, they were thoughtful and sweet. However, if they brought you the fruit with the rind peeled, it’s allegedly a red flag.
Verywell Mind warns that “while this trend of videos is seemingly, for the most part, made in jest, it can breed a combativeness in the comments, resulting in strangers commenting on the health of the relationship based on a two-minute video.”
To put it simply, it’s not healthy for your relationship if you go around tricking your partner. There’s too much room for misunderstandings. You shouldn’t be comparing your relationship to the clips you see going viral on social media. And taking relationship advice from viral trends isn’t too smart either.
What would you have done if you were in the post author’s shoes and your partner ‘tested’ you with a weird social media story? Has a romantic interest ever tried to ‘test’ you in bizarre ways? Have you ever done this yourself? Let us know in he comments below.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)