When it comes to taking care of your health, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Not sure if that fever you’ve had for a few days is a simple virus or something more insidious? When in doubt, just visit a doctor.
But occasionally, we end up at a clinic or in the emergency room for reasons that we may be embarrassed to explain to the doctors… Or reasons we made up in the first place.
Reddit users have recently been confessing the stupidest reasons they’ve ever ended up in the hospital, so you’ll find some of their funniest and most ridiculous stories below. Enjoy reading through these reminders to stay safe out there, folks, and be sure to upvote the tales that you find most amusing!Read More: “What Is The Stupidest Reason You Went To Hospital?” (35 Answers)
#1
My weiner turned puffy and red for seemingly no reason. Had to fly to a wedding next morning and freaked out. Asked my gf to drive me to hospital. Nurse asked me if I had been eating spicy foods. Yes, I had been eating hot wings, and I must have held my weiner to urinate prior to washing my hands. Nurse gave me a benadryl and told me to chill. I later requested the nurse’s notes for my records, they’re hilarious.
Image credits: Skrapp_Mettle
#2
I took my daughter to the hospital after she had been puking for 12 hours, Nurse was making me feel really stupid. My daughter threw up all over the nurses computer. She took us right back to a room after that.
Image credits: an0nym0uswr1ter
#3
About 24-years ago, I ate almost a whole quart of Korean kimchi for dinner. It was so peppery, spicy and so good, I just couldn’t stop eating it.
That night, I experienced the most excruciating stomach pains, much worse than when my appendix burst 10-years ago. It was so bad, I stripped off all my clothes and sat in my boxer briefs on my front porch step writhing in agony holding my now bloated stomach.
My wife finally took me to the ER and they put an IV in my arm with some pain killer and admitted me for a 23-hour observation. As the night went on, the pain subsided and I finally started feeling better.
Fast forward to the morning and I was feeling much better and pretty much back to normal. As the hospital was preparing to discharge me, the night shift was replaced by the daylight shift and a few nurses came in to check on me followed by the new attending ER doctor, a Korean! 😳
He was smiling, chuckling and laughing telling me I had suffered from “kimchiitis” and proceeded to lecture me that kimchi is supposed to be a side dish to a meal, and not the main course! I really made his day, and everyone, including my sleep-deprived wife who sat with me the whole night, were laughing, shaking their heads, and grinning at my stupidity.
To this day, I still wonder if that Korean ER doctor used my case as one of his funniest ER stories.
Image credits: EevelBob
#4
Hiccups that lasted 24 hrs, stopped right when the doctor stepped in the room. Lol
Image credits: stargill70
#5
My husband went because he was in extreme pain and thought he was having a heart attack. Turns out it was wind. He just needed a good fart.
Image credits: blueboatsky
#6
I’m an er doc.
About once a year I see a very nice young female who comes to the er with three or four family members because her fingers are blue. They have always googled all sorts of fancy and exotic diseases that they are worried about. 100% of the time the patient has brand new blue jeans on.
Without saying a word I just grab an alcohol swab and wipe the blue dye off of their hands, and then I do the same thing to their jeans to show them it’s the same color.
The collective sigh from the family is always what does it for me.
Not surprisingly, half the time the patient doesn’t believe me and is angry that “we did nothing.”
Image credits: Dan-z-man
#7
Flesh eating bacteria on my legs. It.was razor burn.
Image credits: forest36iyn
#8
Not me but i had to pick up a mate who swallowed a 50c piece to win a $2 bet. If you don’t know, an Australian 50c is quite large. They had to do an endoscopy to get it out. They let him keep the black corroded coin too.
Image credits: honest-aussie
#9
When I was 10, I wanted to go to my friend’s house. My older sister who was watching me at the time wouldn’t let me, so I did the reasonable thing and jumped out my second floor window. You wouldn’t be surprised to learn I spent most of my childhood grounded.
Image credits: Forced_Abortion_
#10
Migraine that presented as body numbness. Got a 3-day workup for a stroke to find out that I not only have migraines but an aneurysm. So thank you, migraines, for saving my life.
Image credits: UncomfortableBike975
#11
When I was 8 I was bored so I got a bottle of Gatorade from my pantry and grabbed a kitchen knife then proceeded to stab it over the sink to see how easily the knife would go through the thicker plastic of the bottle…almost lost my thumb
Image credits: New_Moon_Lotus
#12
A bat landed on my head while i was asleep. Rabies shots all around!
Image credits: oldasshit
#13
My then 2 year old daughter shoved a broken crayon up her nose. It took a week, we saw 2 doctor’s then a trip to the ER with no luck. The ER doctor actually managed to shove it in farther. I finally was able to get an appointment with a pediatric ear, nose and throat doctor who had it out in about 60 seconds. She’s in her 20s now and i still tease her about it. Oh, and the crayon? It was green.
Image credits: AuntiKrist
#14
Im an RN at a level one trauma hospital. I had been feeling really anxious for a couple days. Im at work in the middle of the night and my chest starts feeling tight and my arms are going numb and I feel dizzy. My co-workers urge me to go the ER, which is packed and smells like BO. Took a nap in the room while I waited and when I woke up I felt fine. Labs, ECG, everything look good.
Im 99% sure I just had a panic attack and in hindsight, it makes sense, I had been very anxious. Im an RN and couldn’t recognize my own panic attack. I felt very silly.
Image credits: Entire_Muffin_6714
#15
When I was about 3, I was running up the stairs in my house and fell. I hit my chin on a step and bit my tongue nearly off.
My parents took me to the local hospital where they sewed up the gash in my tongue *without anesthetic*. I still remember it to this day.
Image credits: Salty_Fixer
#16
When I was 3, I lied to my mom that I had swallowed a penny. I told her I found the penny on the floor and ate it. We went to Bellevue in NYC, and we were in the waiting room a looooong time. She was tired from work, hadn’t eaten, and after x-ray I had to fess up that I didn’t swallow a penny. I don’t believe she ever forgave me, and she certainly didn’t believe what I said about much of anything, going forward.
Image credits: Alovingcynic
#17
Not me, but my kid complained of their throat hurting and was absolutely DISTRAUGHT and said they didn’t know why it was hurting… we went to the ER turns out they told the doctor they had eaten some M&Ms (they had snuck and didn’t want to tell me) and turns out the shell of one had just scratched their throat. 🤦🏼♀️
Image credits: cybersarahx25
#18
Christmas Day, I dislocated my knee attempting to kick my brother during a sparring match. Needless to say my martial arts career was over.
Image credits: IDontThereforeIAmNot
#19
I got my diva cup stuck
Image credits: miss_betty
#20
when i was younger i desperately wanted to be a doctor (still do) and so i faked a sprained arm so i could see the action of doctors helping hurt people, i was so thrilled and just wanting to do the same. not proud of it, took up an er seat, cost my parents money, and took help and beds from other people who needed them.
Image credits: IllStress7999