When you’re in a committed relationship for years and years, it can seem completely impossible that it might someday end. But people change. Trust gets broken. Priorities shift. Folks fall out of love. And then you find yourself on the verge of breaking everything off.

Redditor u/Upstairs-Fox917 started a candid online discussion after asking the members of the r/AskWomen community to open up about why their long-term relationships came to an end. Their stories are raw and powerful, and they show you just how tough loving someone can be. Scroll down to read why these relationships fell apart.

Bored Panda reached out to the author of the thread, u/Upstairs-Fox917, who shared her thoughts on love, compatibility, and the importance of being very honest with ourselves about what we need from a relationship. You’ll find our full interview with her as you read on. Be sure not to miss it!

Read More: 30 Heartbreaking Reasons Why Long-Term Relationships Ended

#1

I always felt lonely with him in my life. It was hard to leave because he’s the father of my child. He was lazy, not motivated. I was making more money (not a big deal if other things were equal), pretty much single mom in a relationship, cleaned, cooked, took care of bills, etc. I was practically single taking care of a man child. He threatened me that if I ever left, he wouldn’t bothered with our child anymore. At first I was worried for my child’s sake, so I stayed a few more years, then I said nothing is worth this prison in my own home. So I left. He blocked me, hasn’t reached out to his son. It’s been 5+ years since we heard from him, but we are both thriving and living our best lives, and traveling the world together.

Image credits: Personal-Cupcake2282

#2

I finally loved myself more than I loved him and stood up for myself.

Image credits: Delicious_Stock_4659

#3

I spent a month away and realized that life was better without him.

Image credits: AlizarinQ

#4

Together almost 6 years. He started to get stressed out with finances and resented the fact that my career was taking off and I was getting attention. He got violent, sexually assaulted me a few times, and used to block me in my room so he could scream at me for hours. I made an exit plan and waited until he was out of town to leave.

Image credits: Bayesdaze

#5

We had different aspirations. His only dreams were professional, he had no plans for us as a couple – he didn’t want kids, didn’t want to travel, to move, to build something the two of us. When I asked if he saw his future differently with me or without me, he said no.
So I realized that staying together would mean me having to sacrifice on things I didn’t want to sacrifice on. So I left. I have no regrets.

Image credits: Yource

#6

We just stopped to love each other. But we are still friends. I’m married now and he’s gonna get married soon too. We’ll even attend the wedding with my husband. He’s a great person and I’m thankful and happy for the time we had together.

Image credits: Chamalloow

#7

We moved in together after 4 years and he suddenly forgot how to do literally any chore. Even a 5 year old would have a better sense of responsibility. He was willing to do chores for his mom all the time but not for me. I tried to talk about it and find solutions for a year, then I happened to meet someone who made me realise I deserved better. So I left, and I don’t have any regrets.

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#8

He couldn’t establish boundaries with his mom thus I didn’t want to marry into his family.

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#9

He didn’t want to change. He walked all over my boundaries. Refused to hang out with family. And never wanted to talk about issues with the relationship. I stayed too long with someone who didn’t want to work together on anything. And I finally ended it when I was questioning why I was even with him still.

Image credits: DividiaStorm

#10

I got sober and he didn’t.

#11

He cheated with me with a girl me met playing an online video game. That really opened my eyes to how he’d been treating me for years.

He wanted to get back together. I got a lawyer and we got divorced. I don’t see it as 8.5 years down the drain though – I learned a lot with him and a lot because of him. I’d never wish to go through that experience again though.

Image credits: tvp204

#12

He was 28, cheated on me, and got her pregnant. She was 17…

#13

Never, EVER made me or us a priority, even though I moved states to be with him. Emotionally crippled due to family issues that he was not working on, so he couldn’t give anything to me. I just always felt bad around him. One day, after the millionth time of him ignoring me at a family hangout- around the people he truly prioritized over me- we came home and I simply said, I can’t do this anymore. He moved out within a few hours.

Image credits: soupallyear

#14

He was never going to be happy living in America and I was never going to be happy leaving.

#15

He became religious.

Image credits: wangd00dle

#16

I realized I was staying because I was comfortable, not because I was truly happy.

Image credits: Kozypepper

#17

I stopped loving him. It really was that simple.

Image credits: DesignerSand

#18

I finally got the courage to actually be alone, even though it wasn’t much of a difference since he wasn’t really there for me. Was very scary. He desperately needed to grow, and so did I.

#19

She didn’t really love me, I was being abused and I didn’t realize.

#20

I realized he would never prioritize me ahead of his addiction.

#21

I fell out of love with him when I realised he no longer added any value to my life. Much happier now ❤️.

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