Sometimes, people spend such a long time surrounded by toxicity that they can no longer tell the difference between healthy and downright harmful behavior. It’s pretty clear that they should make plans to get out of toxic environments as soon as they feasibly can, but recognizing that someone’s in one isn’t as easy as you think. Especially when you’re in the thick of it and can’t afford a moment’s respite to get a different perspective. However, sometimes it takes a single moment for the scales to finally drop from people’s eyes.
Redditor u/Expwar asked the workers browsing r/AskReddit to open up and share the moment that they realized their workplace was truly toxic. We’ve collected the most insightful stories to share with you, dear Pandas. You’ll find them as you scroll down. Let us know your own experiences with toxic work environments and how you solved things in the comments.
Meanwhile, have a read what psychotherapist Silva Neves told Bored Panda about the importance of having firm boundaries at work and what drives people to be unkind, pushy, rude, and demanding. (Spoiler warning: it’s usually due to fear.)
#1
“Why do you have to be at the hospital if your wife is the one having the miscarriage?”
An actual email I received while sopping up my wife’s blood from the floor in the emergency room.
Image credits: Resolute002
#2
When I woke up in the hospital after attempting to take my life in work.
#3
When my manager said I wasn’t a team player for refusing a shift on my wedding day.
Image credits: eatpaintsleeprepeat
#4
I had a job where my girlfriend’s Mother was my boss, so I guess the moment I realized my workplace was toxic was when my girlfriend cheated on me and then my girlfriend’s Mom hired the guy she cheated on me with. In hindsight, probably more than just the workplace was toxic.
Image credits: the-cschnepf
#5
A couple years ago my dad died. After my bereavement time and I came back to work, my boss came up to me, looked me right in the eyes and with a smile said “you know what will make you feel better? Doing more work.”
Image credits: mbrennan993
#6
A couple of female coworkers went to the HR manager to file a complaint about sexism in the workplace, related to the same guy. They got told by the HR manager and their boss that the company wasn’t gonna do anything about it, because it would be very hurtful for this man to hear that his behaviour was wrong…
Later when some anonymous survey showed that employees were really not as happy as they(company) were claiming on social media, and people even felt discriminated against in the workplace, they brushed it under the carpet saying people were just too stressed when they filled in the survey, like that is not a problem on its own.
Many more of these kinds of things, but that’s defo when I realised I had to get out.
Image credits: uselessacount4ever
#7
When my boss arrived at my doorstep trying to open my front door accusing me of lying about being sick and yelling that she will get a lawyer and find a way to fire me legally. I never went back
Image credits: Hand_of_bags
#8
I got hired while my wife was about 6 weeks from giving birth. I told the owner in the interview that I would need at least a week off in the next 6 to 8 weeks when my kid comes. He had an autistic kid and led the local chapter of Autism speaks, so I though he was an alright guy.
When my kid was born, he had the manager call me every day and ask when I was coming back, because nobody was doing my work.
I came back after 3 days off work. My kid was born on Friday, back at work Weds….
I was fired 2 weeks later…..as a new father at age 28…..
Image credits: shadow247
#9
My own dad and employer hassled me for being in the hospital with my son for like ten days.
Image credits: nicholasgnames
#10
When I was crying from anxiety about opening up my e-mails every morning
Image credits: UConnUser92
#11
When the union told me “These are solid proves of harassment, but unfortunately the only way to win is to pay a lawyer and go on a trial against your bosses. And they are rich, well known and you are a foreigner. You have no chances and all I can advise you is to quit.”
Image credits: Thorbork
#12
My parents sent a Halloween care package full of candy to my workplace, written to “the care of lilsunflowers”. Next time I was at work, I couldn’t find the package — later was told it was opened and all the candy had been eaten
Image credits: lilsunflowers
#13
We reached a point where we regularly had to wait to cash our paychecks. We basically were told we had to get orders completed and paid for, in order for the account to have enough money to pay us.
During this time, the boss went on a vacation which was just great for morale.
My manager had to take a day off, effectively putting me in charge for the day. I texted my manager, “What should I do if the IRS shows up? lol”. 2 hours later an IRS agent did stop in looking for my boss.
I found a new job not long after.
Image credits: [deleted]
#14
When they wanted to give me an attendance point because a terrorist blew up the at&t building in Nashville and I had no internet to work my Christmas Day shift.
Image credits: balancebycj
#15
When my 30 year old manager tried to kiss literally every girl that worked there other than 16 year old me. He just made gross comments about me almost being of age.
#16
A male colleague was promoted above me. I was forced to attend a training he held that I had originally trained him how to do. My work wouldn’t make an exception for me, despite being the original department trainer. I was one of a couple females in my department and I never saw a promotion or raise, despite working there for five years. My male colleagues were typical stoners and got promotion/raises no problem.
Image credits: emsquad
#17
When my boss started looking at the store’s cameras every night to knit-pick every little detail I did so she can get mad at me for it.
Image credits: Goodlove23
#18
One of my job’s metrics for how our performance is graded by is “on time departure”. We get so many points if we’re within -10, -5, 0, 5 or 10 min from scheduled.
People try to cheat by tampering with the clocks and that’s a punishable offense.
I was good at leaving early or on time most of the times. Got a call one day to warn me that I was under investigation because Ihad the most points in the company. They assumed that I was cheating, that’s when I knew I had to go. I wasn’t going to start being late to avoid repercussions
Image credits: wearsAtrenchcoat
#19
When our boss got into a screaming match with one of the managers (his daughter) in the middle of the office. I’d just started there 3 weeks ago and it was absolutely mind boggling to watch. I looked around at my coworkers and everyone was just looking away, doing their best to stay quiet and not look at either of them. Person at the desk next to mine saw my shocked face and whispered “they do this a lot. Just ignore it.”
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Image credits: thrown12212020