Marriage is hard work; even the happiest couples face bumps along the way.

For those who ultimately decide that splitting up is the healthier alternative, the realization can come in a variety of ways. For some, it’s a lightbulb moment when everything clicks in a second, while others need to think over the decision for much longer.

So when Redditor u/Slayer_of_Gingers asked men, “What moment with your former wife made me think ‘Yup, I’m asking this girl to divorce me?'” they got plenty of different answers, providing interesting insights into navigating a romantic relationship.

Read More: 30 Men Reveal The Exact Moment That Made Them Divorce Their Wives

#1

She had lost her job, again, after quitting a decent one because she didn’t get along with her boss. Anyways, a few months go by and I’m doing everything. Cooking, laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. I’d ask the kids what does mom do all day and they said she plays on the computer all day. So the final straw came when i came home from work and had to wash dishes so i could make dinner. Dinner is made so i tell family it’s ready. She comes to get a plate and serves herself first instead of our youngest child who was four at the time and couldn’t serve himself. As i watched this unfold it dawned on me. If I’m going to do all the work i might as well do it by myself or find a partner to share the load with because she clearly didn’t want to be on my team.

Image credits: PsychoticMessiah

#2

When the cops showed up and arrested me while I was washing dishes. Found out after being taken to the station that she had claimed that I had been beating on her and my five year old son. Was acquitted in court a month or so later. The situation was so messed up that the cops actually testified on my behalf.

Image credits: lesters_sock_puppet

#3

I was on deployment and she yelled at me for interrupting her family’s celebration when I called on Christmas.

Image credits: mwr885

#4

When she said, “You didn’t pray hard enough and that’s why our son has cancer. That’s why I’m sleeping with my prayer partner.”

Image credits: CarterLawler

#5

Besides the narcissism, random violence and violent outbursts, it was her strange punishments. Her last one doomed her. My crime? I forgot milk on the way home from work so she didn’t talk to me, not one word, for a week. PURE BLISS, for a week. When she asked if I was ready to apologize I handed her the divorce papers. “Why?” “Because you rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship.”

Image credits: henrysmyagent

#6

When I came to the sad realization that we were just good roommates and had been like that for years.

We have been divorced for almost 10 years and she is one of my favorite people in the world, we just weren’t supposed to be married.

Image credits: ballplayer0025

#7

She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.

Image credits: yourbrotherrex

#8

My wife was around less & less…had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time…..just tell her I’m working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn’t mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask “what’s her excuse this time?” That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.

Image credits: CheesyNate

#9

I used to love to do chores for her because she loved being taken care of. When she stopped noticing, it started hurting. Then one day I made a bench for our entryway out of barnwood. Took about 40 hours of work. She walked in the house after work that day and sat her purse on it and proceeded to start the fight where she told me that she was mad she got married to me. She stormed out of the house grabbing her purse. Never noticed the bench was there. I knew then but I think she already knew.

Image credits: pcade11

#10

We met and spent the first seven years of our married life on the West Coast, then moved East. Five years later, I took a job back on the West Coast, but it was the middle of the school year, so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me.

Things hadn’t been very good between us for a while, but I hadn’t articulated it to her—or even myself—beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction.

One weekend, out there on my own, I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns, a town in which I had lived long before I knew her, a town we had visited often while married. It was late afternoon was about to head back to my hotel when I realized that I could visit a particular beach that had special meaning to me from my earlier life there.

I stopped at a convenience store, grabbed a Grolsch like I used to drink on that beach, and drove out there. Hiked out to a specific spot I remembered, sat down, popped the beer, and looked out over the ocean. And it hit me that I hadn’t done that in over 20 years. Whenever we’d visit the area, I’d suggest stopping at the beach, but she wasn’t interested and would always veto the idea.

I’m sure reading this it seems like the tiniest thing, but it was the catalyst for me realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship. I think from the time I sat down, I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes. Just sitting there, sipping my beer, looking at the ocean.

Image credits: synchronicityii

#11

When my 2 year old was learning to talk he would consistently say another blokes name. Apparently he was there the moment i left for work till when i got home. Single Dad for 5 years with primary custody now.

#12

When I, as the only earner in the house, was denied buying a new pair of work boots- in december- because she needed the money to “buy vaccines for the puppies”.

She bred dogs as a hobby, I was a framing carpenter in Ohio. My current work boots were toast- holes in both, no soles. I needed them. Her “puppy vaccine” story was bullsh*t- her hobby was dogs, but she was a pro at popping pills. Thats what she needed the money for.

I was done with her by March.

Image credits: bigterry

#13

When we went on a family vacation and I hoped she’d sleep the entire time so I could have fun with our son.

Image credits: wiskrbiskt

#14

Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).

Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.

Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”

At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.

#15

When she decided our dog was annoying her and sold him on Craigslist (which she then used the money to buy herself a non refundable purse) instead of making any mention of her feelings so we could come up with a solution.

Image credits: DevlinInMrsJonez

#16

When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her. The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back. I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.

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Image credits: tomatuvm