Sometimes in a social setting, it becomes clear that certain people only thrive when they are dragging someone down. What makes this so much worse is that these folks often wrap themselves in the guise of a “friend” when they are anything but.
A woman shared her bit of petty revenge on a woman who would constantly try to one-up her by telling her about a tattoo she was “planning” to get. As it turns out, this was the perfect bait. We got in touch with the woman who made the post to learn more.
Sometimes certain people insist on one-upping you in a social setting
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
So one woman plotted an intricate bit of revenge against a pick-me “friend”
Image credits: jokingsometime5
Image source: jokingsometime5
We got in touch with the woman to learn more
Image credits: Liana S (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to share some more details. First and foremost, we were curious if she had any updates. “Since I’ve posted, there are no updates yet. It happened quite a while ago and I have since moved out of that area and am no longer in contact with Peggy”. That being said, if she ends up finding this post I will probably have an update then!”
The post itself ended up gaining a lot of attention alone, so we wanted to hear her thoughts on that. “I wasn’t expecting so much traffic within such a short amount of time. It’s hard to keep track of all of the questions and comments but I think people found it engaging for a couple reasons. One surprisingly common point was that it’s relatable. A lot of readers have experienced similar situations. I was honestly shocked to receive DMs from Redditors who’ve had their tattoo ideas stolen before. Another reason was that it was controversial! Debates were sparked on whether her tattoo was cool/not and whether or not I was in the wrong. I was also called into question on if I had used AI for “karma farming” which I didn’t know about until a quick google search enlightened me, which, no, I did not.”
“As for comments I found useful or helpful, it was really just nice to know that it resonated with others. Validation does feel good, especially for something I haven’t really spoken about for a couple of years. What I did wasn’t great and there’s someone out there walking around with a tattoo they got for (in my opinion) a bad reason. But I lied, so how good can that really feel? It’s on them forever unless they drop more cash on laser removal. Lastly, to the readers addressing the fact that we were adults(22/23yo) playing children’s games. We are fully aware. It was ridiculous- but it was a fun time. Ever see the New Girl cast play “True American?” I highly recommend for a similar vibe. Thank you for reading, and if you ever see someone with a Haku tattoo, compliment them. 99.99% of the time they’re probably awesome.”
Some people are willing to “attack” others for perceived social validation
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Friendship is where we’re supposedly supposed to roll out of bed and just be our laid-back selves. It’s where you can pull on sweatpants and a greasy bun and still be adored. And then you run into “the pick-me.” The “pick-me” is a person, a usually but not always female, person who perpetually looks for validation, especially from the opposite sex, by establishing herself as “different” and “superior” to all other people. This is typically accomplished by belittling other women, playing the “not like other girls” game, or affecting disinterest in traditionally feminine activities. She is the one whose entire personality is essentially an audition for the “Cool Girl” role on a show no one is actually watching. She’s the woman who instantly develops a hot, blazing hatred of pumpkin spice lattes the moment you place an order for one, and who breezily declares, “I just don’t get along with other women; they’re so much drama,” as if she were the protagonist in a very deeply underrecognized action film. This is less about true individuality and more about a constant, exhausting side hustle for outsider acceptance.
So what do you do about this rollercoaster of feelings? The best strategy is to learn the art of the comedic deflection. When your friend starts her monologue about why she’s “not like other girls” because she prefers video games over brunch, don’t affirm her. Don’t even give a nod of politeness. Rather, deflect like a pro figure skater. By not being a supporting character in her own soap opera, you’re indicating that this conversation is finished. Over time, the lack of an audience will hopefully make her reconsider her performance, as the payoff for her act diminishes.
Handling “friends” like this seems like a nightmare
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
If you’re feeling brave enough to go for a more direct approach, prepare for a conversation that might feel like a delicate negotiation with a toddler. The key is to use the “I” statement. Instead of “You’re always putting other women down,” say, “I feel a little uncomfortable when the conversation becomes a competition.” It’s a gentler way of holding up a ‘stop’ sign without yelling. Her likely response will be defensiveness, a classic defense mechanism. You’re not there to fix her.
You’re there just to speak your truth and communicate your boundaries. If she’s not going to listen, you’ve done your best. The defensiveness is typically symptomatic of her own insecurity, and not a shortcoming on your end. Your emotional peace is not a prop in another person’s play. Friendships should be something that makes you happy, and not a draining task in dealing with another person’s insecurities. If your efforts at boundary-setting do not work and you’re putting in more emotional work than a professional therapist, then perhaps it’s time to practice some social distance. This has nothing to do with cruelty or punishment, it’s about caring for yourself from a dynamic that is absolutely draining. It’s completely fine to recuse yourself from a friendship that is more stressful than it is fun. Real friends don’t have to block out others’ light to shine. They’re too occupied encouraging you to even bother about the spotlights. So go get the friends who got your back, because life’s too short for friendship drama.