Working at a bar might sound like a fun gig where there are free drinks, loud music, and the occasional flirty banter. However, if you ask any bartender what the job really entails, you’ll quickly realize it’s less cocktail glamour and probably more emotional triage with a side of tequila.

Between the late-night frenzy and unhinged customers, bartenders have seen things; some hilarious, some horrifying, and some just very bizarre. Someone asked bartenders online what really goes down behind the bar and of course, we’ve rounded up the wildest, weirdest, and most unforgettable answers for your reading (and drinking) pleasure.

More info: Reddit

Read More: 27 Bartenders Spill The Wildest Tales From Behind The Tap They Will Probably Never Forget

#1

Regular walks into the pub.

‘You’re barred’ says I.

‘What for?’

‘You stole another customer’s mixed grill last night when you were drunk.’

‘Oh. I was wondering what those sausages were doing in my pocket.’.

Image credits: SmokyBarnable01

#2

I used to bartend in the financial district of San Francisco. We would occasionally get some high roller clients, including celebrities.

One night, a voice says, “you got gin and tonics back there?”

I look up and see Jack Nicholson (wearing sunglasses @near midnight) and my jaw drops.

He leans in and says, “well son, are you gonna make me one or do I need to go back there and make it myself?”

I made the fastest G&T of my life and said here you go sir, to which he replied simply with a double eye brow raise.

In the end, the other older guy picked up the tab and tipped me $300 on a $40 tab.

Image credits: Seanbodia

#3

I used to bartend at a wedding venue and during the reception of an afternoon wedding the groom kept coming up and buying rounds of drinks, but never with the bride. He was tipping appropriately, but as he got drunker he was being more and more generous telling me to keep the change as he paid with $50s and eventually $100s. Come to find out he was grabbing cash out of cards.

I eventually cut him off but I have to imagine he kept getting fed drinks. As he was carried out, I finally got my first glimpse of the VERY pregnant and equally upset bride. I offered to give her back the close to $500 I had been tipped by him alone, but she very graciously told me to keep it and said not to worry about it and “He’s going to pay for it for a long long time”.

Image credits: i_ate_stalin

#4

Worked closing bar shift most nights. Refused to serve one of my regulars one day cause he looked pale and yellowish. I was genuanly concerned I would be serving his last drink. Long story short, he died a few days later.

Image credits: Pro_blemSolver

#5

I was a tour guide at a distillery. After the tour, I’d go back to bartending. One guy on my tour came up to the bar and immediately said “I can tell you’re on the spectrum because I also have autism.”very casually.

I have never been tested for it and my doctors have never even hinted about it. That was like a year ago and I still think about it. I wasn’t offended and I understand autism, it was just shocking.

Image credits: derekorjustD

#6

One night the Harlem globe trotters showed up an hour before closing and I made my rent in an hour. It was the last day of the month, I had picked up a double because I had my wallet stolen a few days prior giving a ride home to a stranger after playing basketball in the hood.

Image credits: aquintana

#7

One place I worked had a massive high top with one side against the wall with a bench and another facing the front window. I had a clear line of sight from the bar and saw a woman very casually get under the table and give her man head. I laughed and by the time the manager went over she had mounted him right then and there with a full Resturant.

Another busy spot I worked at turned into a big college bar late night with dancing and such. There was a massive brawl and a lot of broken glass yet the manager refused to shut down that floor to clean. 30 minutes later a girl slips while dancing and cuts her femoral artery on a broken glass on the ground. My coworker was a veteran and saved her life by sticking his hand in her leg and pinching the artery had he not done that she surely would have died. Insane amount of blood I’ve ever seen anything like it. Sure enough the manager closed after that and then the bar got sued by the girl and won.

Image credits: salamandersquach

#8

Sunday closing shift – huge family party is the last table in the place. Two servers and me – they bring the bill and whoever organized the dinner apparently drops on the family that they are all going Dutch – it begins as an argument about money and turns into a brawl – we were a seafood restaurant bar and someone took a plastic fish off the wall and used it as a weapon – they finally paid the bill with like 8 cards – luckily it was a automatic tip on the bill.

Image credits: GorganzolaVsKong

#9

Two of us working, watch this couple walk up to the other bartender. The person ordering was phenomenally hot, the partner is giving the bartender a sign to cut them off with a silent wave to the throat. Bartender is enamored with phenomenally beautiful customer and sees it as an opportunity to hit on them. Bartender tells their partner, it’s not their place to determine what’s best for them, says you seem controlling and pretty insecure. Has a laugh with the hottest and takes a shot with them. 

2 seconds later…

It looked like Mexican food and corn dogs, and it was all over the bar the bartender it was everywhere. It was an absolute disaster.

Image credits: Cool-Hall9980

#10

The pukening. Worked for a guy that would get aggressive if you cut people off. Group of ladies comes in more than tipsy from bottomless brunch and orders a round of tequilla rose shots and long island ice teas. One lady downs two shots, and her long island then goes suspiciously quiet. A minute later, she throws up on herself and her friends and keeps throwing up. I run for a bin bag and ended up standing there holding this ladies hair while she’s sick in a bin bag and her friends are trying to call someone. Meanwhile, the owner is standing there yelling at me. Had to work the rest of the shift, smelling vaguely of sick. I didn’t quit, but I did report him to both the tax man and the licensing authority. Shortly after that, we got a new owner.

Image credits: SignNotInUse

#11

Guy was on a Tinder date at my bar. The girl was actually a high school classmate of his, they hadn’t spoken in years, but they knew each other.

After two hours of drinks and food, he went to the bathroom leaving his phone/wallet/keys in his jacket pocket draped over the chair.

She immediately found them and booked it out the door. She then stole his BMW and went on a shopping spree.

And the schmuck at the bar? He lamented for an hour that “it must have been an emergency…she’s going to come back” before I forced him to call the cops and file a report because at that point, he couldn’t pay his $200 tab either.

I often think about him five years later.

Image credits: thinkdeep

#12

I was a bartender in Montreal in 2009. Jay Burachel came in with Sarah Polley, Seth Rogan and two English brothers. Well dressed older English guy gets rip roaring drunk, gets belligerent. Threatens to hit the female waitstaff and throws an empty tumbler at her after she cuts him off and has to be restrained by his brother and seth. They get him out the door, the brothers start fighting in the street because the older guy gets man at younger brother restraining him. You brother handles him to the ground and out of frustration knees him right in the head, and Seth Kicks him in the ribs. Younger brother pushes Seth and starts threatening him. Older brother gets up and falls back down. Gets up one more time, dusts himself off, asks his brother if he’s good and them walks off arm in arm with brother.

Image credits: Cute_Tradition6965

#13

Just a recent one, not a crazy one…

A few months back a couple in their early 20s came into the bar, told the bartender they were going bar to bar and drinking whatever the bartender’s fave drink was – cue three shots of Jameson. Thankfully they made it to the street before the lass…experienced the shot a second time!

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Image credits: paradeofgrafters