Self-care is important to our mental, emotional, and physical health. But somewhere down the road, it has become a mere buzzword.
Content creators are teaching us about morning meditation, daily journaling, the ideal bedtime, practicing gratitude, walking, sugar detoxes, caffeine detoxes, digital detoxes—seriously, how many forms of detoxes?—and businesses are selling bath bombs, essential oils, mindfulness apps, fitness trackers, aromatherapy diffusers, weighted blankets, stress-relief candles, ambient sound machines, massage guns…
Don’t get me wrong; none of these things are bad per se. It’s just that consumerism has taken over what was supposed to be a personal and meaningful habit, and now we’re being led to believe that we have to buy into the latest fad if we want to stay well.
So Reddit user Kendraxquinn asked people to list widespread self-care trends that they think are actually toxic. And they responded. Below, you will find some of the most popular entries and a chat we had with psychologist Lindsay Staples in between them!
Read More: 30 Self-Care Trends That Are Doing A Lot Of Damage, But Many People Don’t Realize It
#1
Toxic positivity.
“Your own thinking is the cause for all your hardships. Just think positive and all your problems will go away. If they don’t, you’re not thinking positive enough.”
Congratulations, now people going through true hardships that have no or no easy solutions feel a giant amount of guilt on top of it.
Image credits: onesmilematters
#2
Any kind of “cleanse”. That’s what your liver and kidneys do.
Image credits: gothiclg
#3
Mistaking things within the normal range of human emotion as mental illness.
You’re *supposed* to feel anxious sometimes. Anger, disappointment, sadness? They’re all valid emotions you will sometimes feel.
Image credits: lessmiserables
#4
HAES, “Healthy at every size,” has been distorted to mean you’re healthy no matter what and that’s just not true. Nobody should be fat shamed, but being overweight isn’t a healthy choice.
Image credits: Homerpaintbucket
#5
Radical selfishness to the point that you don’t think you should ever have to compromise, sacrifice, be inconvenienced by, or have an imperfect interaction with someone.
Image credits: St-Nobody
#6
“You have to love yourself before someone else will love you.” I can say from experience that sometimes you need someone else to love you first. There was a time when my girlfriend saw value in me before I saw it in myself.
Image credits: ChaseDonovan
#7
That constant pressure to always look on the bright side and be positive no matter what. A friend of mine “Jessie” went through a really tough time and every time she tried to open up about how she was feeling, people just told her to “stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” instead of helping. Sometimes, it’s okay to feel down and talk about it because forcing positivity can actually make things worse.
Image credits: Peachy_Sofie
#8
That whole ‘hustle culture’ thing. It’s like society is telling us to burn out for the sake of productivity.
Image credits: AmberHarder
#9
Toxic Christianity.. I know far too many country club Christians who use their religious status as a way to never be wrong, to have no integrity because they were “called”, and to go fill up their cup (self care) every Sunday in an expensive outfit to then go treat people like garbage every other minute of the week.
Image credits: passthedrink
#10
Mommy wine/booze culture!!! Multiple drinks every night should not be the way you destress and look after yourself!!
Image credits: kellenbee1
#11
Waking up at 5/6am to be ultra productive as early as possible. Prioritise your sleep, guys
Edit: being a morning person is different and obviously if this sleep schedule works for you then great. But what’s toxic is that it’s pushed that waking up as early as possible is the best thing for everyone to be doing which is not true.
Image credits: QuickVideo8185
#12
A popular self-care trend that’s actually toxic is constantly practicing ‘cutting off’ anyone who doesn’t agree with you. Sometimes, it’s important to have tough conversations, even if they’re uncomfortable. Isolating yourself from any criticism doesn’t help with personal growth.😌.
Image credits: killersmilee
#13
Self-prioritization to the extent that it morphs into main character syndrome or some other sort of extreme selfishness.
Other people matter too and I think we often need reminders of that.
Image credits: protomanEXE1995
#14
Selfdiagnosing ADHD, OCD all those kinds of things. Lets leave that to the professionals. Feeling a bit of chaos in your head sometimes does not automatically make you have adhd.
Image credits: medic00
#15
Neglecting sleep to get ahead in school or your career. Not getting enough sleep will catch up to you.
Image credits: DangerzonePlane8
#16
Therapy speak as a whole. People parrot it with no real understanding and next thing it’s being misused and abused everywhere. Words like “triggered” and “boundaries” do my head in. They both mean something very important and significant, but they don’t mean what the internet uses them as.
Image credits: Mendel247
#17
I swear to God. The blatant selfishness I’ve seen under the guise of “protecting your boundaries”.
Yes, boundaries are important, but sometimes you should show up even when you’re not in the perfect mood. Sometimes you should do the favor without keeping score. And sometimes you should have the uncomfortable conversation even though you’d rather stick your head in the sand to protect your peace.
I completely forgot where I read/saw/heard this but it was something along the lines of “These people are going to end up with perfect boundaries and no friends” and that rang so true for me.
Image credits: ikbenlauren
#18
Obsessively tracking every detail of your health can lead to more stress than benefits.
Image credits: DreamCrazeOreo95
#19
Only doing things that feel good or spark joy. Sometimes for your own long term health and future you must do things that aren’t super duper fun.
Image credits: Avocado-Toast-93
#20
Those “aLpHa” boot camps are bad news.
The whole concept is nonsense, and a trap to exploit insecure men and take their money.
I think the female equivalent is those trips where they pay to go into the woods and scream and break things.
Just get a real therapist. It might even be covered by your health insurance.
Image credits: -ItsCasual-
#21
Every fad diet ever.
Image credits: BudgetBotMakinTots
#22
Conflating “beauty culture” with self care. Patriarchy and capitalism convincing you to obsess over wrinkles showing, etc and making you engage in a million step beauty routine is not healthy or actually Caring for yourself, it’s actually unhealthy for your mind and body .. and wallet.
Image credits: stormfox222
#23
Avoiding difficult conversations in the name of positive vibes.
Image credits: sad_boi_jazz
#24
Thinking so highly of yourself that constructive criticism appears to be hateful.
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