We’ve all experienced thinking of the perfect response to a person, but the moment had already passed. It’s like that one Seinfeld episode when George Costanza had a clever comeback to an insult from a coworker, but it had already been hours later. 

However, since many conversations now occur online through comment boxes and social media, timing is no longer a key factor. You can deliver the ultimate clapback days after, and it would still sting like vinegar on an open wound. 

Here are just a few excellent examples. These responses were so well-crafted, you’d wish you had thought of them. It also proves that ordinary people on the internet can easily be top-notch comedy writers. Enjoy scrolling through!

#1 All My Life Consists Of Now

Image credits: TheSillyMan280

#2 No Lies Were Told

Image credits: unfazed_jedi

#3 Worst Loaf Of Bread Ever Baked

Image credits: Nicox37

Crafting a quick-witted comeback isn’t solely about having a sharp, creative mind. Part of it is having excellent listening skills, according to comedian and artistic director Abigail Paul. 

In an interview with the BBC, Paul shared an example wherein you’re dealing with a colleague who enjoys making snide remarks. In such situations, Paul advises training your brain to listen to their words, so you can eventually fire back the perfect retort.

#4 Definitely, He Will Not

Image credits: KakiReddit

#5 Cows Don’t K**l Sharks

Image credits: TbhJustAnotherGuy

#6 Yep, Can Only Be Eaten Once

Image credits: StonedInk

A knee-jerk reaction to an insult would be to issue a more scathing response. At that point, your emotions are more heated, as your goal becomes more about winning the argument at all costs. 

However, stooping to the same level of disparagement can only turn the conversation toxic, which only makes the responding person look worse. According to business consultant Belina Raffy, who worked with a condescending manager, harsh, uncalled-for responses typically come from a palace of insecurity.

“(Negative responses) increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the ‘in group’ which is in the know,” Raffy said in the same BBC interview. 

#7 Name This Plant

Image credits: _teadog

#8 Well, She Did Ask For Pictures

Image credits: UserNameTayken

#9 I Don’t Think Three Fingers Are Too Much

Image credits: mynames_not_jeff

Delivering the perfect off-the-cuff response is also considered a career-building skill, according to executive speech coach Darlene Price. In an interview with Forbes, she explained that such a skill not only exudes confidence and credibility but also ensures that your ideas are heard and acted upon. 

#10 Get On The Bus

Image credits: Brent_Fox

#11 It Hurts Thinking About It

Image credits: Tuesday1256

#12 Well Yes, But Actually Yes

Image credits: TSK_01

So, how do you develop the muscle to deliver the perfect response when necessary? Price says it begins with a calm mind, free of negative self-talk that would slow down reaction times in the brain. 

“Couple positive self-talk with some nice deep breaths, and before you know it, you’ve transformed stress and tension into a relaxed state of mind and body,” she said.

#13 Gotta Love A Technicality

Image credits: lankyman-2000

#14 Ludicrous Speed

Image credits: ericka1018

#15 An Amateur Pilot At Best

Image credits: postymcpostpost

Below-the-belt responses are typically blurted-out answers that the person likely didn’t think through. As a result, they may sound haphazard, flimsy, and weak. This is why Price suggests taking a two-second pause to organize your thoughts. 

“Seize the moment, trust in your innate abilities, and take the time to deliver an intelligent reply,” she said, adding that silence is also an effective reply to communicate that you are “thoughtful, deliberate, and in charge of the situation.”

#16 No Way He Guessed That

Image credits: Tooth_Background

#17 Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth

Image credits: IamAnIdiot6

#18 Bit Weird To Be Asking For Such A Young Photographer

Image credits: NotTodayCaptainDildo

#19 I Laugh But It Hurts

Image credits: whoa_ur_cool

#20 The Rarest Steak In The World

Image credits: PacmanTheHitman

#21 Not The Healthiest Breakfast

Image credits: Clever-Creek

#22 I Can’t Imagine It Tastes Very Good

Image credits: GameWinner31

#23 This Guy Has Good Flirting Skills

Image credits: Wheybrotons

#24 I Wonder What Do They Have In Common

Image credits: pleaseallowthisname

#25 The New Industry Standard: Normal Screen Size

Image credits: _tommymason

#26 Show Concrete Proof

Image credits: TheLixLim

#27 My Wife Would Have Given The Ring Back If I Made Our Proposal Something Political

Image credits: softspokensatan

#28 Its Always The Instagram Comments

Image credits: Jbrenesq92

#29 Cursed Truth

Image credits: ariglgn

#30 I Never Thought Of Earth That Way

Image credits: wex0rus

#31 A Shape Consisting Of Infinite Points That Are At A Distance “R” From A Central Point

Image credits: EliyahGabriel

#32 Driving 101

Image credits: reddit.com

#33 They Never Said You Couldn’t Use Numbers

Image credits: reddit.com

#34 Anything Below 20 Hz As Well

Image credits: Time-Jacket4615

#35 The Three Faces Of Truth

Image credits: Gamin8ng

#36 At Least 2 Pairs Are Needed

Image credits: ink_n_fable

#37 Can Also Try Exploiting People

Image credits: PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe

#38 His Wife Commented On His Post

Image credits: Top-Macaron5130

#39 I Know His Coworkers Hate Him

Image credits: thesebtchslovesosa

#40 Keep Your Teeth Natural, Guys

Image credits: fnaffan110

#41 Dave Chapelle And Joe Rogan

Image credits: reddit.com

#42 Manual Breathing

Image credits: T-Reddx

#43 Mind If I Comb Over?

Image credits: emilysayshai

#44 Wax vs. Parchment Paper

Image credits: wildspeculator

#45 Look Up At The Sky, It’s Work Smarter-Not Harder Man

Image credits: anon_nonapplicable

#46 Ingredients And Prononciation

Image credits: TotemGenitor

#47 Can’t You Feel My Popcorn Crunch?

Image credits: Recent-Sorbet

#48 The Holy Roman Empire

Image credits: SentinelSlime

#49 Pretty Sure Alligators Can Be Efficient

Image credits: ArmedPenguin47

#50 Good Soldiers Follow Orders

Image credits: 0_Nevermore_0

#51 After 9 Months, Yea

Image credits: Kamester__k

#52 An Interaction With My Mother

Image credits: shamanpotato

#53 Car

Image credits: jellybeankiddo

#54 Germany Is Home To Many Things

Image credits: MLDKF

#55 He’s Out Of Line, But He’s Right

Image credits: ShadySeptapus

#56 Will You Marry Me?

Image credits: Christine900

#57 Well I Mean They’re Not Wrong

Image credits: VUXX6078

#58 Not The Life You’d Want

Image credits: DrHydrate

#59 He Did Explain

Image credits: reddit.com

#60 So True

Image credits: pcmr-123

#61 To Ask About Dirty Toilets

Image credits: reddit.com

#62 Brilliance Meets Confusion

Image credits: someoneonearth69

#63 It’s Not In The UK

Image credits: Crypt_Ghoul001

#64 Whoops

Image credits: pronoun

#65 All In The Cloud

Image credits: wolff3D

#66 That’s One Harry Hand

Image credits: Brent_Fox

#67 When Rejection Is A Win

Image credits: Above_Heights

#68 The War Of 1812

Image credits: rc52504

#69 About Putting Toothpaste On A Floss Pick

Image credits: Syzygy82

#70 What Is An It Girl?

Image credits: EdBuckmaster

#71 That’s The Way To Go

Image credits: TheCager100

#72 And Likely Get Arrested For Indecent Exposure

Image credits: beerbellybegone

#73 Or Just Very Friendly

Image credits: Kyle_sch

#74 Every Woman Has Encountered This Man

Image credits: imalargeogre