One of the most brutal things that your significant other—the love of your life!—can do is leave you at the drop of a hat, with no real explanation. We all have doubts, fears, and anxieties that we need to tackle. But when you’re married, you figure your problems out as a team. Not by abandoning your long-term partner.
Redditor u/throwra-disappearw went viral with a three-part story about how he and his wife had been planning on going on a dream trip together. However, she secretly decided to go alone to “find herself” and live her best life, leaving her husband behind with tons of financial responsibilities. Scroll down for the full story, including all about how that one decision wrecked a good marriage.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author to learn more about what happened since he shared the story online, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Couples are meant to be a team. If one partner suddenly starts prioritizing just their own wants, it can stress the relationship to its breaking point
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
One man shared the nightmarish situation he walked into. One day, he found out that his wife had completely abandoned him to travel the world
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra-disappearw
One of the things that prompted the woman to leave her husband was her fear of developing dementia like her mother
According to the author of the viral story, his (now ex) wife had been extremely anxious about developing dementia. Her family had a history of it. And they had both looked after her mother, who had dementia, until they were able to move her into a care facility.
The World Health Organization notes that there were 57 million people with dementia around the world in 2021. Nearly two-thirds of them (60%) live in low and middle-income countries. There are nearly 10 million new cases of dementia every single year.
Dementia disproportionally affects women, both directly and indirectly. “Women experience higher disability-adjusted life years and mortality due to dementia, but also provide 70% of care hours for people living with dementia.”
Based on data from two years earlier, in 2019, dementia cost global economies $1.3 trillion. Around half of those costs can be attributed to informal carers, like family and friends, who provide an average of 5 hours of care and supervision per day.
“Dementia results from a variety of diseases and injuries that affect the brain. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia and may contribute to 60–70% of cases,” the WHO explains.
“Dementia is currently the seventh leading cause of death and one of the major causes of disability and dependency among older people globally.”
The factors that increase the risk of developing dementia include the following:
Age, with dementia being more common in people aged 65 and over;
High blood pressure;
Diabetes;
Obesity and being overweight;
Smoking;
Drinking too much alcohol;
Physical inactivity;
Social isolation;
Depression.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, dementia symptoms are progressive. The signs start out slowly. But, gradually, over time, they get worse and lead to dementia.
That’s why you shouldn’t ignore you or your loved ones having memory difficulties or changes in thinking skills. It’s best to see a doctor ASAP.
While the signs of dementia can vary a great deal, some of the common signs include:
Issues with short-term memory;
Trouble keeping track of your wallet or purse;
Problems paying bills;
Having a tough time planning and preparing meals;
Issues with remembering appointments;
Trouble traveling outside of your neighborhood.
The author later shared an important update about the dramatic turn of events his relationship took
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexel (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra-disappearw
Many internet users were completely in the man’s corner. Here are their thoughts and suggestions
In a final update, the man revealed how he confronted his wife and how things developed from there
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Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: user11472009 / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra-disappearw
The man felt devastated when he realized how selfishly his wife was behaving
“I understand her anxiety about developing dementia and I was burned out. You live through Covid working remote, a wife working remote, a college and high school student taking remote classes, and a MIL with dementia and see how you hold up,” u/throwra-disappearw writes.
“Space finally opened up, and we were able to move her mom into a care facility. I finally thought I had a chance to breathe. When we moved Mary’s mom out, Mary’s mental health took a huge downward spiral. I went from caring for her mom to caring for her. She felt guilty about putting her mom in a home and had lots of anxiety about developing dementia.”
Their initial plan was to start traveling together, to enjoy life as long as their savings would allow. However, one day, the husband came back home to find out that his wife had completely abandoned him. All she left was a note. She went on their dream vacation. Alone.
“She had quit her job, took most of the savings, and wasn’t sure when she’d be back. Maybe a year, maybe sooner. She ‘knew I’d understand.’”
Not only was this emotionally devastating, but it had a direct, negative impact on the man’s life and finances, too. “Her last post was from Hawaii. She put in the comments how great a husband I was for letting her take this trip. I’m barely making it, paying two cars, a mortgage, household bills, insurance, hoping there are no emergencies because I have no savings…and she’s enjoying our trip,” he wrote.
Though the situation was far from positive, the author learned to find happiness along the way
He felt this was completely unfair to him, considering that he helped take care of her mother for a whopping four years. As time went on, the man actually started enjoying the space he had at home. “I loved my wife, but her mental health weighed down our marriage. On balance, it was worth it until now.”
Eventually, when she came back from gallivanting around the world, he confronted her about what had happened. They were able to sort out a lot of the financial questions and get started on the divorce proceedings
As per the author’s last update, he’s starting to date again. And he’s in a pretty good place in life, despite what happened. “Not where I wanted to be; 50, getting divorced, and using Reddit as free therapy sessions. But, I’m happier now than I’ve been in a while. I’m even planning a little vacation of my own.”
What are your thoughts about the dramatic way the marriage fell apart, dear Pandas? How would you react if your partner suddenly left on a trip that’ll take God knows how long, without you? Have you ever been in a similar situation before? What would you tell the author of the post if you could talk to him face to face? Let us know what you’re thinking in the comments, at the bottom of this article.