Sometimes, the line between sweet effort and straight-up weird isn’t clear. Other times, it’s creepily obvious.
Reddit user ChronicallyDrawing made a post on r/TrueOffMyChest to vent about her current boyfriend. The woman said that their “meet-cute” (first encounter), which she thought was so spontaneous and genuine, was actually meticulously planned months in advance.
The man wanted to confess, hoping it would be seen as a playful reveal, but instead, his words raised questions she couldn’t ignore, and now, their relationship feels less like a rom-com and more like a psychological thriller.
Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?
Image generated by Bored Panda using ChatGPT
This woman would probably suggest that it depends on what you’re confessing
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: chronicallydrawing
Emotional games blur the boundary between natural connection and controlling behavior
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Interestingly, scientists have demonstrated that they can boost romantic chemistry with manipulation.
A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showed that subtly enhancing smiles during online speed dates increased romantic attraction between people. Using a novel experimental platform, researchers manipulated facial expressions in real time—without participants’ awareness—to test how synchronized or incongruent smiling patterns influenced perceptions of connection.
When both individuals’ smiles were artificially boosted, participants reported greater interest in their partners and more satisfying conversations. Even though these manipulations affected feelings and vocal behavior (especially among men), they went largely unnoticed, highlighting the powerful yet unconscious role of nonverbal cues in shaping romantic chemistry.
However, the experiment was nowhere near the level the Redditor has described in her post.
We could debate whether it’s possible for two strangers to get together without any superficiality at all, but at some point, a line has to be drawn between harmless influence and social engineering. Where that line falls will vary for different people, and it’s probably impossible to find a universal answer to the question of what’s acceptable and what’s not.
This case, though, sounds like the ultimate example of love bombing, a form of psychological and emotional abuse when someone goes above and beyond in an effort to get you involved with them.
And the author of the post needs to be at least aware of it. “Initially, you might feel safe, secure, and swept off your feet because grand gestures are a self-esteem boost and make you feel important and desired,” says psychologist Alaina Tiani, PhD. “But the love bomber’s ultimate goal is not just to seek love but to gain control over someone else. Over time, those grand gestures are an effort to manipulate you and make you feel indebted to and dependent on them.”